The human brain’s primary goal is simple: Keeping us safe and ensuring our survival. Every time we formulate an opinion of someone, whether it’s a sixty second introduction or a lifelong connection, that opinion is based on whether our brain has determined we are safe or not safe in that relationship. And often, we form those opinions in less than one minute of meeting someone. We are a shallow bunch, right? Within sixty seconds of meeting a brand new human being, our brains fire up life experiences, prejudices, and pre-conceived notions in order to size that person up. There’s no fact-finding or exploration to the brain’s archaic process at all. Our brains, then, are wired to feel instantly secure with people who are much like ourselves. We not only want to survive and thrive, but we also want “our kind” to survive.
The mind of a special needs mom, however, is notably different which is one of the many positives that comes along with this unique journey. Her primary goal is to not only keep herself alive (so she can necessarily take care of the special one in her life), but to also keep her child safe and to ensure his/her survival on a planet where individuals who have intellectual and/or physical disabilities are too often marginalized. As a result, her brain is re-programmed to not sum people up in less than one minute. The special needs mom, in fact, throws everything she ever thought she knew out the window the moment she comes face to face with her child. In a flash, life is no longer the same…and never will be again. Pre-conceived notions? Prejudices? Life experiences? They no longer hold any sway over this mom, because her measuring stick has transformed into a magic wand…the woman suddenly wants to save the world.
When life flips to something brand new and unexpected in the blink of an eye, everything flips along with it. From this point on, she’ll give everyone a chance to be kind and good and patient and accepting…because her child’s survival depends on the human race being what it needs to be. Special needs moms, for instance, constantly seek out and watch to see how people view her child. She can spot a soft face, a smile, and understanding eyes even in a large crowd and she will return the smile. Always. If you don’t believe me, try it sometime. In addition, she’ll thoughtfully listen to how people respond to her child, hoping for the best. Kindness and warmth, even when void of understanding, go a long way. And when someone takes the initiative to bend down and look eye to eye with her little boy, it will catapult her heart into the heavens. That one simple act speaks volumes: “you have value” … “you matter to me” … “I don’t see myself as any different than you”. By choosing to serve others, even with the simple act of intentional kindness, you are a living sacrifice.
Romans 12:1 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”
To a special needs mom, you can be cultured and educated or crass and unrefined…liberal, conservative, or a person who doesn’t give a hoot about politics…none of it matters. As long as you have true compassion and acceptance for those who are physically and/or intellectually challenged, you are in her circle for life. She’ll love you instantly and forever, because you and “your kind” actually are the key to the survival of the special needs child and the world as we know it.
The following pictures are of a little fella who was born with Down syndrome in an Eastern European country. The first picture is of him in the “baby orphanage” when there was still hope for him finding a forever family. The second picture is of him only a few months later, after being sent to a “mental institution” when he wasn’t adopted. The final picture is of his grave. Without touch, love, acceptance, and proper care, he died. This is the reality of the world we live in.
In our country, you might say, this kind of thing would never happen. And you’re correct. In the United States, an estimated 75% of children who are prenatally diagnosed with Down syndrome are aborted….in other countries, that figure jumps to 90%+. Because of a genetic test, children who are diagnosed with an extra chromosome while in the womb don’t even get a chance. The statistics are staggering. There is no middle ground. As citizens of this earth, we either value all life or we don’t value life at all. Life not only matters while in the womb but also AFTER the womb. It’s life y’all.
Consider for a moment what a world without individuals who have special needs might look like. It would present an existence where the concepts of compassion, patience, and unconditional love are absent. Every human being has a purpose, even those who by the world’s standards are less than perfect. This is why the mind of a special needs mom is wired so differently. Our mission is not about the survival of a political party or a church denomination…our mission is about saving the best part of the human race. The human race, at it’s very best, is not power and strength…but when we purposefully choose to bow our power and strength to acknowledge the value of one who is considered “the least of these”.
“…and whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me.” Matt. 25:40
Just my thoughts.